I have a theory – call it the a-hole relativity theory. The number of a-holes in any given area is relative to the total number of people in that area. Hence, more people, more a-holes. This of course includes many varying degrees of a-holism.

Some of them don’t actually know they have this social disease. They are oblivious of the fact that they are disturbing a very large number of people. Then there are those who are chest-thumping proud of pissing people off. Some are in between – most of the time they are considerate of the people around them. Until something hits their switch and they became flaming lunatics.

What they all have in common is a serious lack of driving skills. They have the inability to see that everyone is passing them on both sides and they are slowing down. And they were not going the speed limit to begin with.

To do what I feel is my duty, I thought I would jot down a few rules to help these poor demented souls survive yet one more day. Some are just common sense – something most of them do not possess.

If you are already in the turn lane while coming to a stop, there is no longer any need to turn on your blinker.

On the other hand, if you are not yet in the turn lane or left lane, please turn the damn thing on.

If you are turning right at the corner, don’t turn the blinker on until you’ve passed the parking lot entrances. People coming out of the parking lot will think you’re turning there and will try to pull out in front of you. Turn on your blinker when you pass the last entrance. You can begin slowing down, however.

Being in the middle lane going forty miles an hour is not the best time to whip out the phone and post a selfie on Facebook and/or Instagram.

If you get a phone call when you are driving in rush hour traffic, let it go to voice mail. You can check it at the next red light or at your destination. If you are lying in the road dead or dying, letting them know you are running late is not going to matter.

Whether you know it or not, the mirrors are on the car for a reason. Use the freaking things!

Please feel free to add others in the comments. The ironic thing is, if the people I refer to read this, it probably won’t occur to them that it’s about them.

Peace be with you.

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